Oral sex is a very controversial topic that cannot be discussed exhaustively. However allow me to share with you my professional input on this disputative issue. Let us first start by understanding what oral sex is and if it qualifies to be regarded as coitus as the name depicts. It entails using your buccal cavity (mouth& tongue) to stimulate the genitals (vagina, penis and anus for the homosexuals) of your partner. It’s either given or received. Although there are so many publications that consider it as a sexual activity, it is not a sexual intercourse.
This intimate act is gradually sprouting among Kenyan youths as an alternative for penetrative sex. Allow me to highlight some of the factors that have contributed to this act:
• Degradation of African Culture on issues to deal with sex. People are opting to embrace the promiscuous virtue that emanates from the west
• Assumption that oral sex is much safer than the penetrative sex.
Gone are times when mentioning the word sex was abominable. Truth be told, we are living in a slutty society where everything is being sexualized. Oral sex was un-heard of. Sex among married couple was only done at night because it was considered secretive and was only meant for procreation.However this norm withered a very long time ago. Sex has really diversified. It is regarded as the most pleasurable venture by youths. It is used as a form of a currency in some parts of Kenya. (I hope we are sailing in the same boat). That is the reason why oral sex is taking a niche among Kenyan youths. The society has already created an atmosphere of experimentalism and the youths are determined to capitalize on this.
There is a notion that oral sex is safer than penetrative sex. In fact there some who regard it as an alternative for abstinence. As much as one may not conceive from it, there is a very high risk of contracting Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) including HIV especially if the genitalia and the mouth is ulcerated. Women are more likely to contract this venereal diseases because of the risk of being ejaculated to. If one must do it, it is highly advisable to ensure that you use a condom and to be vigilant enough to detect any form of ulcer.
There is this argument of whether it’s right to do it among married couples. Well there are some instances especially pelvic surgical procedures where couples are required to refrain temporarily from penetrative sex and oral sex can serve as an alternative until recuperation has taken place.However this should only be done when there is mutual agreement between the two of you. Risk benefit ratio should be put into consideration.
The ball is on your side now. Am not a sexologist so I may not fully understand the sexual benefit that oral sex might have. However from the medical point of view, it’s not worth it.
Remember oral sex is not an alternative for abstinence.It’s equally risky especially when done casually.
Author: Eliud Kigotho: KRN, HTC Counsellor