It is not a crime for a young village girl to emulate Madonna or Beyoncé for that matter. After all majority of Kenyan urban girls are Western wannabes. The most unfortunate thing is that they tend to simulate westernization without applying the rule of selectivity. They embrace every lifestyle that bobs up without examining critically what they are getting themselves into. They have opted to become global even before adopting national values. This is how a typical global girl looks like:

Fake accent: Global girls have mastered the art of uttering with accent. It is so wispy to an extent that sometimes it’s very difficult for one to comprehend what they are saying. Unfortunately, their Chicago dialect is not consistent. They tend to forget even when they are in a middle of a conversation. They always revert back to their common parlance without knowing. Why should you exhaust your vocal cords for nothing? What’s wrong with using an idiom of English that is comfortable with you?

Fancy appearance: I have no personal issues with being fancy provided it’s done at the right time and place. Am not suggesting that girls should robe 24hrs. Of course I don’t expect a lady to visit a beach on a skirt suit. However global girls as mentioned above are not good when it comes to selectivity and moderation. What is your take on a lady who decides to clad on tight jeans while in a corporate interview?  Always jawing a bubble gum?  Food for thought.

Jobless: Most global girls are jobless. Employers are finding it difficult to maintain them in the payroll because of their complicated and amateurish approach towards work. They are more of liability than an asset in an organization. That’s why most of them are rapidly venturing in a new form of “Entrepreneurship “. They call themselves socialites. I honestly wonder the kind of merchandise that they sell. However I hear that their profit margins are big depending with how one is aggressive in “socializing”.

“Expensive”: Imagine acquiring a very high taste of life and you are jobless. This makes them professional paupers.  They are masters when it comes to begging. They mask their habit by wearing very expensive attires and jewelry which most of the time are borrowed from different friends. This gives them a vague independent personality and they are able to attract” sponsors” from all over.  They don’t have a defined residency; Yahaya unaishi wapi. Most of them are housed by their friends and relatives. This makes them irresponsible. They channel all the proceeds that they get through their gold digging ventures towards personal extreme make overs. They think that they are expensive but they are cheaply used by those who know their gaudy feature beneath their shiny face.


Prima dona: They are self-proclaimed operatic singers. Despite their plagiarized repertoire, they still call themselves divas. They claim to be conversant with all the artistic creations yet it’s evident that they are amateurs who don’t believe in specialization. They want to try out everything and this is one of the reasons why they end up doing the wrong things to gain attention since they have not perfected anything positive to show case. You can’t be an actor, singer, dancer, and a diver, simultaneously and fail to be a rookie. This explains why a particular global girl almost drowned in a swimming pool when she decided to swim for the first time using back strokes in order to prove her diva nature to her associates. She thought that it was going to be automatic for her to float on the water. Unfortunately she swallowed more than a camel could handle.

Let us just try to be authentic self and take time to discover our unique aptitudes that can elevate us to another level. Remember pretense is like pregnancy. You can’t hide it forever. One day everybody will find out who you are and this will affect your psychological health adversely. Find yourself before they do. Be real to yourself and others.

We will discuss about global men in my next article.